Mental Insurrection
by nightserenade
Summary: When imprisoned inside his cell at the Black Order, Allen has too much time to think about things that are going on. Then he receives a visit from Road that changes the way he views current events. Slight Allen/Road/Neah, Allen/Lavi if you squint.


_**A/N: So this fic took me a while longer than I had wanted. I'd had it already in my head, but when it came to actually writing it, I could only write random bits at random times LOL I finally finished it yesterday, and am satisfied with it :)**_

_**It's a look inside of Allen's mind during his imprisonment by the Order (it only really includes Allen and Road, and an appearance by an usagi) and has a peek at the relationship between Road/Neah, well, my idea of it I guess, haha.**_

_**Hope you all enjoy! Reviews are really appreciated :)**_

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_**Mental Insurrection**_

Being enclosed in darkness was not an unfamiliar thing for Allen Walker.

Literally and figuratively, he'd been in many dark rooms, been stuck in the dark recesses of his own mind, had been trapped in a darkness that had seemed so unfathomable, indescribable, and relentless. They were all experiences he'd gone through in his life, were still going through because the memories never left him and his life was not a very happy and innocent one.

After Mana's death the darkness had been a hole in his heart, a gaping opening made up of utter loneliness that he hadn't believed would ever be filled again. With Master the darkness had come in the form of the dark clubs and places that were not suitable for children of the age he had been. They had been stifling and strange, places he'd come to dislike incredibly. And once he'd found out about the 14th's presence inside of him, had learned that one day in the future he would cease to be Allen Walker, the Exorcist, and become Neah, the Noah, the darkness had become a being residing inside his body. Infiltrating his heart, his mind, his soul, and bleeding out the colour of his life, replacing it instead with the lingering sense of dread; that he was running out of time. It was like a shadow looming over him, waiting, just waiting, for the moment to engulf him and swallow him whole.

Needless to say, being stuck with his Innocence bound in a damp, cold, and dark cell in the Black Order was something that wasn't too foreign to him. No, he'd never been locked up before, and no, it didn't mean that this was a situation he was necessarily comfortable or fine with, but it was still something he was moderately familiar with.

Being in such a situation gave him way too much time to think, and with depressing thoughts circling his mind constantly, it wasn't something that was welcomed. He found himself thinking about his friends, the other exorcists, that were probably going through a very tough time at that very instance while he was locked away.

His thoughts first focused on what happened to Kanda. Allen didn't believe that the man was really dead, something inside of him, like a persistent nagging in the back of his mind, told him that he was still alive somehow, hanging onto his connection to this world with his usual bitter conviction. He cursed at Kanda mentally. He should be here, aiding everyone in the Headquarters while he was unable to. He should be protecting and consoling Lenalee, who was probably feeling very lost and lonely right then.

His mind wandered to thoughts of Lenalee. The events that were going on currently must be taking their toll on her. He wondered if she was alright, if she was holding up okay, and he knew that though she would sometimes put up a strong front, she was still a very emotional and caring girl. With three of the people closest to her gone from her side, it must be hard for her to manage alongside whatever other horrible things were going on.

And then his thoughts drifted to Lavi. Allen leaned his head back against the wall and wondered where in the world Lavi could possibly be. He'd disappeared during the attack of Alma Karma and the Noah, as had Bookman, and the Black Order had heard no word from them whatsoever since. It was strange, not something he thought either would do willingly, and so that only left two conclusions; that they had either been kidnapped and were somewhere where they were unable to make contact with anyone, or they were... Allen didn't even want to think of that possibility. It was one thing to think it while in the same train of thought as Kanda, but when it came to Lavi, his close friend, it was quite a different scenario to imagine.

But even though that all was happening to some of the closest people to him, here he was, locked up in a cell because of something that wasn't his fault, that he couldn't control. He felt useless, guilty. He should be out there, dragging Kanda's ass out of whatever hell he was currently in, because was he so damn weak that he'd died so soon? He should be out there, helping Lenalee get back on her feet to keep on walking, comforting her and telling her that everything would be alright and that he would protect her. He should be out there, searching every nook and cranny of the lands for Lavi, swearing that when he found the stupid rabbit he'd hit him, hard, and would call him an idiot for disappearing without a word like he had.

Allen glared down at the ground, as if somehow finding fault in it like it was the cause of everything that was going on, was the reason why he was in this predicament in the first place. It wasn't, of course, but because he was bound there was no way of releasing his frustrations in the way he really wanted to – which was destroying the wall and maybe a few other inanimate things – and so glaring was the best that he could do.

It didn't do too much to qualm his anxiety or his frustration, so he let his eyes relax, closing them in the process. He was close to falling into slumber when there was a very strange disturbance in the air, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, signalling to him that something was not right. Slowly, senses on alert, his lids parted and allowed him to see his surroundings again, and what he saw was definitely not something he was expecting.

On the back wall of his cell was a door. It had appeared out of thin air, and was not just any ordinary door, no. Allen knew better than that thanks to the door's appearance. It wasn't the first time he'd seen this door, and every time he had nothing good had come out of it.

Speaking of which; the door opened and out skipped a young, deceivingly innocent-looking girl. His eyes widened and he lost the ability to speak, gaze glued on the figure of the girl who leaned back on her heels, hands clasped behind her back, to survey the cell with a mild look of distaste before turning her attention to him.

Road Camelot came over and crouched down in front of him. Allen's mind, over the initial surprise, was finally able to grasp the situation at hand, and he opened his mouth to say something. But the Noah raised a single finger up to her lips, the shining black nail glinting in the light of the cell. The gesture told him to stay silent, but he wouldn't without a better reason to.

As if reading his mind, she grinned.

_'But Allen~ You have to be quiet or else your guards will hear us~!' _

His eyes widened. Had he just..? Did she just..?

She nodded._ 'Yep, I'm talking to you through telepathy. It's a lot more convenient when one wants to be sneaky, isn't it? Hehe~" _

_'Why are you here? What do you want? If you're planning on attacking the Headquarters then I–"_

_'Oh, Allen. Silly, boy. I'm not here to attack anyone. If I were, then I most certainly wouldn't have made myself known by you or any other person,' _she put her chin in her hands, holding her face up as she set her elbows down gently on her knees. She balanced gracefully, and her gaze never once left his._ 'I've come here only to talk with you, and offer you the chance to do something you so very much want to do.'_

_'W-What?' _He shook his head in confusion. _'I have no idea what you're talking about, Road. And I don't trust you, so why would I take up an offer from you?'_

A pout formed on her lips, the girl pretending to be upset over what he'd said. But the disappointed expression only lasted a moment; in another second she was back to grinning.

_'Don't tell me you've already forgotten what you've been wishing for all this time?'_

_'Road, could you just quit this? I'm tired, and if I get caught talking to a Noah then they'll really believe that I'm not to be trusted because of the 14th...' _The bitter edge to this thoughts caused Road's smile to disappear, and she regarded him with such a serious look that Allen had to look away from because it made him uncomfortable. He hadn't meant to sound like that, really, he shouldn't be so surprised over the fact that he'd been imprisoned seeing as how he had a Noah inside of him and would eventually – according to them (he still wouldn't believe it) – turn into said Noah.

He'd just thought that everyone would have more faith in him than that...

_'So, I'd appreciate it if you just left me alone.'_

_'But Allen~ Don't you want to go see the red one?'_

His heart stopped in his chest, and his head snapped up to stare straight into Road's golden gaze.

"Wha-"

Allen shut his mouth abruptly, eyes wide. Her cat-like orbs glimmered in amusement at his reaction as he glanced over at the door to his cell to make sure he hadn't been heard. When he was satisfied he looked back at her with his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

_'What are you talking about? You couldn't mean...'_

_'Yes, that's exactly what I mean. You were wishing that you knew what happened to that boy Lavi, and I know where he is. I could take you to see him for a little while, if you want~'_

There was no way she was telling the truth, no way whatsoever. He wouldn't believe it. How could she know where he was? And how could she possibly take him out of the cell to go see his friend, wherever he was? But... if that was all a lie, why would the Noah come all this way just to play this sort of trick on him? And on the other hand, if she was actually speaking the truth, why in the world would she want to help Allen with something like this? There was no reasoning behind any of it...

Road cocked her head to the side._ 'Do you want to go, or not?'_

Oh, what the hell. What could he possibly lose by saying yes?

_'As long as you bring me straight back here afterwards,' _he thought, staring at her hard to make sure his point came across. He still had his own morals that he had to live by, no matter if he was considered an enemy by so many people, no matter if he might be turning into someone else. He wouldn't throw away the kind teachings that Mana had engraved into his mind, heart, and soul.

She nodded and straightened up, holding out a hand to him. He took it, blinking in astonishment when he felt a lot freer. He was still bound, unable to use his Innocence at all, but he felt much better moving around than he had when he had been sitting around moping. He could have sworn he heard Road giggle inside his head. Her door appeared at the back of the cell, but before he followed her through it Allen halted to gesture towards the front.

_'What about the guards? Won't they notice that I'm gone?'_

_'Of course not,' _she entwined their fingers together and tugged him forward._ 'They'll only see what their foolish minds want to see, and because they have no reason to look inside here since they _know _you'll be here, they'll never suspect that you'd be anywhere _but_ here. See, nothing to worry about.'_

The white-haired male shivered. Road would always be a mystery to him, a very eerie and powerful mystery.

Together they stepped through the door she'd fabricated, and on the other side they found themselves in an equally dark and gloomy room. The door disappeared behind them for now, but Allen knew that the Noah of Dreams could easily make another one just like it appear when it was needed. So instead of worrying about that, he focused his attention on looking around and figuring out what kind of place he was in.

_'Now Allen, we'll have to be _very _quiet, because we're not supposed to be here, you see. Do you understand~?'_

He nodded silently, and then followed as she pulled him along. Road seemed to have no trouble whatsoever manoeuvring through the room that lacked proper lighting, and so he had no choice but to hold onto her hand and trail after her, for fear of getting lost in an unknown place. The fact that she seemed to familiar with where they were bothered him, and he decided to keep that bit of information in the back of his mind for future reference if it was required.

After turning what he assumed was a corner, a light far away from where they were came into sight. Allen's eyes fixed onto it, figuring out pretty quickly that it was some sort of torch, because the light source flickered like a flame. They neared it quickly, but as they got closer, Road slowed down and tugged him over to one side of the space they were currently in. She squeezed his hand, making sure that he would be quiet, but the gesture was ignored once Allen saw who the other three occupants of the room were.

There were two chairs in the middle of the room – it had to be a room of some sort, though he couldn't see any walls around him to confirm such a thing, other than the one he and Road were pushed up against hidden in the shadows – and a tall man stood in front of them, obscuring the two people seated from his view. But it wasn't long before the man, the Noah, he was sure, decided that he was done with whatever he had been doing and turned to leave, allowing Allen the ability to see clearly.

And who he saw made him nearly choke from the onslaught of different emotions.

In one chair sat Bookman, bound thoroughly to his chair. He was slouched over, which meant that most of his face was not visible. He seemed to be unconscious, for he didn't move except for the small but steady rise and fall of his chest and back as he breathed. And while seeing him alive was enough of a shocker and relief, it was the person seated beside him that truly caught and held the British teenager's attention.

In the other chair, bound just as thoroughly, sat a redheaded male. His fire coloured hair flashed in the light of the flames close by, the light casting eerie shadows on the rest of his figure. He, too, sat slouched over slightly, his head lolled to the side. Allen's chest felt tight as he saw the evident bruise on the side of his friend's face and the almost black smears of a liquid covering the boy from head to foot in scattered dashes. He had no doubt about what that liquid was.

"La-"

A hand clamped over his mouth, preventing him from continuing his croaked out call of Lavi's name, and suddenly he found himself being pulled along back to the room they'd first arrived in. When he turned his face to look at Road she narrowed her eyes and shook her head in one sharp motion. He knew his eyes were probably pleading with her, begging desperately for her to let him go to his friend's side to see if he was alright, to help him. However, that was probably exactly the opposite of what Road wanted him to do.

_'I can't let you do that, Allen~ Don't look so sad. We won't kill him, not yet while he's still useful.'_

Allen's mind flashed back to the earlier note he had taken, and he felt a burst of anger fill him.

_'You're the one who kidnapped him. You and the other Noah. The Earl. You did that to him, to my friend.'_

_'Not me specifically, but –" _She looked away from him for a moment, letting out a soft sigh. _'Your quick temper sometimes reminds me so much of...' _But she didn't continue, instead allowing the thought to drift off without a conclusion. He stared at her in confusion, and she raised a hand to place it against his chest, feeling the thrum of his heartbeat through his clothes and skin.

_'Inside of you lives... someone very important to me, to all of us, the Noah that is. He's just under the surface, waiting... We've all been waiting a long time for him to start awakening. I haven't seen him since that day so long ago...'_

Allen's confusion increased tenfold. Of course he was able to catch on to the fact that the person she was referring to was Neah, the 14th, but what were the other things she was saying? Not liking how they had gotten off topic, he pushed the mental conversation back to them right then and there.

_'Why did you bring me here, Road? To torture me? Show me that one of my friends is in danger and make me anguished over the fact that I can't save him? Because I'll tell you; it's working.' _He scowled at her, an uncharacteristic expression on his usually polite and kind face. _'Now are you going to tell me, or what?'_

_'Hm, torture? I wonder,' _a sadistic grin formed on her lips, but it soon slipped away. _'I brought you here, Allen, because it is was you wished. You wanted to find out what happened to the red one, and so I brought you here to see him. Aren't you happy to know that he is alive and well?'_

Allen snorted. _'Your definition of "well" and mine are completely different. But I still don't understand what bringing me here is meant to prove. What do you want? What do you get out of doing this? Why did you do this?'_

Road looked genuinely surprised and caught off-guard for a second, and struggled to come up with a valid explanation. What she eventually thought to him was something that didn't answer his questions, or make him feel any better. It just made him a lot more frustrated, and made the crawling sensation of the darkness inside of him increase, the shadowy entity coil in restlessness.

_'Because you are Neah.'_

The sentence was thought with so much emotion lingering in the undertone, hidden in her expression and the depths of her eyes. It was like the mere delicate mention of his name stirred up memories deeply engraved into her mind and heart, and such a thing was almost inconceivable for Allen. She'd never seemed to display so much feeling – though she really wasn't in comparison to most people, though the word "normal" could never be spoken in the same context as Road – and it was a very odd thing for it to happen during a conversation between the two of them, one of which they were both hugely connected to on different levels.

He'd been too caught up in what was happening to not realize what it would or could mean for others outside of his Exorcist family. He hadn't thought of how his body being occupied by Neah's memories and presence, his soul essentially, would effect the other members of the Noah family. How would it feel like to have another one of them finally resurfacing, reincarnating after such a long period of time?

How would it feel like when that Noah was the 14th; the one who had tried to kill the Millennium Earl, whom the rest of their family seemed to hold in such high regard?

There seemed to be more to it than that, more meaning to why Neah being a part of Allen really effected Road, but even if he asked her about it why would she want to tell him? He was still an Exorcist, not the Noah that most people thought of him to be now, and so what reason would she have to spill out things that may be secrets only known by her family?

But... there was no harm in trying, was there?

'_Road... Who was the 14th to you?_'

It was a question she hadn't expected, at least not seriously. It seemed to make her a bit warier than usual, and though it didn't effect her in a drastic way it still effected her nonetheless. Allen kept his grey gaze on her, even when her eyes seemed to be unfocused as if she was too caught up in her thoughts to really be paying attention to her surroundings. It was the closest to an open expression other than one of malicious or sadistic intent the he'd ever seen displayed on her face. An almost wistful smile curled on her lips as she thought her reply, and he had no idea how to comprehend the full meaning of her words.

'_He was... important. He was family. He was..._'

She let the thought trail off, but Allen caught the gist of what she meant.

Neah had been a lot more than just another member of the family to her.

It explained a lot, like why she seemed so attached to him, even though he was still Allen Walker. She always showered him with her attention and twisted affection, to which he was always uncomfortable and confused over. Before, there really hadn't been a reason for her to act that way, unless she just wanted to get under his skin and bother him. But when he'd found out that the memories of the 14th were inside of him, and that he was supposedly going to turn into said Noah sooner or later, it had started to make more sense. And now... Now he thought he was actual beginning to understand.

That didn't mean he knew how to respond, though, because he didn't.

'_Oh~ It's time to get you back before they notice that you're gone!'_

_'A-Ah... Okay.'_

She grabbed his hand, and when they turned around another one of her doors had appeared. They stepped through it quickly and found themselves back in Allen's cell. He let out a quiet sigh, not exactly happy to be back. Road giggled in his head and let go of his hand.

_'Don't worry, Allen~ You won't be in here forever. We'll come back for you some time.'_

_'We?' _He fixed her with a curious stare, and she nodded as if it was obvious, giggling again.

_'Of course! Tyki cares about you, too, you know~!' _Road began to walk backwards, heading towards the opening of her door. Allen didn't want her to leave yet though, still having some things that he wanted to ask her about.

_'What about Lavi? Will he be alright? And what are you going to do when you come back to get me? You're not going to attack the Headquarters are you? I won't go with you if you do. I... I don't trust you, Road.' _He had no idea why he'd suddenly felt bad for thinking such a thing, any other day he would have been able to without a second thought. Their whole time together that day seemed to have changed something inside of him, and he really did not want to think too hard about that because it was incredibly unsettling.

She smiled. '_So many questions! You'll just have to wait to find out the answers though~ It wouldn't be fun if I just _told _you, now would it? You have to find out for yourself._' She paused for a moment before carrying on. _'I can only tell you that the red one will be alright for now. But he's in for some... troubling times._' The ominous words that were starting to come from her were reminiscent of the Road Camelot that Allen was used to, and he narrowed his eyes at her as she took the final step backwards, disappearing with a final dark and disconcerting thought left behind for the British male;

_'See you again soon, Neah.'_


End file.
